A Hard Year

Overall, 2013 was a very hard year. There were definitely great things about it. We welcomed our second child. Both of my beautiful boys are healthy and growing like crazy for which I am so grateful. They are both so good and bring CJ and I so much joy. We love them and can't imagine our lives without them. We went to Disneyland. We hung out a lot with friends and just enjoyed playing!
We had multiple family reunions on my side and one on CJ's side. It is so great to spend time with family. At the end of the day, that is really all that matters. When our time here on earth passes, we don't take our homes or any of our belongings. The only things that go with us are our families. That reality hit me hard this year.
When my Dad passed, it was like everything became real. The gospel became real, the importance of doing whats rights or there will be serious consequences became real.  Making sure my children grow up learning and loving the gospel and building a testimony of their own or I will be held accountable became real. It is hard to explain, I know the gospel is true. I know there is a God who loves us and wants what is best for us. He is there for us always and no matter what. I know this and always have, but now that my Dad is waiting for my family on the other side it seems more important now then ever before. I want to see him again and I know I can as long as I make sure I am doing what I should and progressing in this eternal journey that we are on.
Then we had CJ's Grandpa pass away.  Now that we have two men who we love and miss very much waiting for us, how could we possibly let them down? It breaks my heart that those who lose someone close to them and do not have the gospel think that death is the end. It is not and I KNOW it is not.
I am so grateful for parents who taught me the gospel growing up. I am grateful for a husband who was taught the gospel and understands the importance of it. We don't know everything, but we both can continue to grow and learn everyday.
Despite the hard year, I love my Father in Heaven. Do I still ask why did my Dad have to go? Of course! But I remind myself that God is in control and he knows what is best.  He comforts me when I am in need of comfort and will continue to do so. Our timing is not his timing. I am learning that his timing is always right. I love my family! I love this gospel! I love my life!

First bath and visitors!

Jackson got CJ this ball and mits for Christmas. He loves to play catch with Daddy. 

Grandma Johnson got Jackson this cute train. He loves it!

Baby's first bath at home. I love how helpful my Mom is when she is here. She basically does everything for my cute little guy and lets me rest and sleep as much as I need too. She kept Jackson quite entertained as well. Jackson loved having her here and someone to play with while I was feeding. Jackson kept her busy! I am so grateful that I have my Mom here to help me and support me.  She is an amazing woman. In my patriarchal blessing it says I chose my parents and I have to say that I chose the best people in the world.

First family photo!

Kimmy and her cute girls came to visit us!

My brother Scott and his cute family came to visit. Kristy made dinner and brought it up and we all ate together. It was so fun to spend time with them. I loved having them visit and meet the baby. Jackson had a blast with my nephew Colby. They played on his new Cars table the whole time.

Jackson sure loves his brother. He gets mad when we call him Lee or James, his name is Baby Brother!  Jackson has been extremely good with this transition. He has been very helpful and he knows that when Baby Brother wakes up and is fussy that it is time to eat. He waits patiently until I am done if he needs help with something. He pats and kisses his head. He can't wait until the baby gets big enough to play cars and planes with him. I am so glad that Jackson has done so well. It has made things a lot easier for me! He is such a good kid. I just love him! 

Christmas Day

CJ was so great and spent both nights with me in the hospital. I just don't like being there alone. Jackson went with my sister Holly to my family's Christmas Eve party and then spent the night at her house again. CJ got up around 6:30 a.m. to go to Holly's to spend Christmas morning with Jackson. My Mom and sister Kelly also spent the night there. When CJ got there, some of the kids were up so he woke up Jackson so he could open presents with everyone. He was very excited to see his Daddy. Jackson got a couple cars, a book, and a puzzle. His big present was sitting at our house waiting for him. 

After breakfast Jackson wanted to go to the hospital to show me all his new cars that he got. He was very excited to see me and Baby Brother.  After the pediatrician came in and looked at Lee, we were able to come home. We were excited to finally give Jackson his big present, but he fell asleep on the way home so I carried him to his bed and he was so tired that he slept for four hours! I couldn't believe it!

Our plan was to originally come home on Christmas Eve, but it didn't happen. We weren't able to make our roast we were going to have for Christmas dinner because of the time we got home at so I called Holly and asked if we could come over. After Jackson woke up, we headed over there and were able to talk to Tyler who is on a mission in New Zealand. I was so glad we were able to do that because Jackson loves Tyler! He was shy of course and didn't say anything. After a few minutes I was talking to Jackson and said,"Isn't this so fun to be able to talk to Tyler?" and he said, "I miss him." Oh, it was just the sweetest thing. I was also very excited to show him his new cousin.

After dinner we hung out for a little bit and then I was so exhausted that I just wanted to go home and rest.  So we headed home and Jackson was finally able to get his present from Santa. He definitely didn't give the reaction we were hoping for, but he does love it and plays with it everyday.

It was a good day for everyone. Jackson had so much fun playing with his cousins at the Cottrell Family party and at my Mom's house. I am so grateful for Holly for keeping Jackson while we were at the hospital. I am grateful for family who is so willing to help and make sure we are well taken care of. We are so blessed with great families.

Cottrell Family Party!

CJ's family Christmas party was on the 23rd this year. CJ took Jackson over there so he could see his cousins and play. He was very excited to show his new cars off that Baby Brother had given him. They ate dinner and Connie had crafts for the kids to make. Really cute sticker manger scene and a manger that was a little cup that they put hay in and a picture of Baby Jesus. Then put a popsicle stick on it with a star on top. Grandma Connie read the kids a story and they always have a cake to celebrate Baby Jesus's birthday. 

Jackson got two new shirts to wear to Disneyland when we go with CJ's family in May and Dusty the airplane from Grandma Connie. One of Candice's kids had Jackson's name for Christmas and gave him a Jake and the Neverland Pirates rug that came with Bucky, Jake and Captain Hook. Jackson had a lot of fun playing and running around with his cousins. He loves them lots and I am glad he didn't miss out on the party.

Baby Lee James is here!

At my doctors appointment I had on December 9th, I was dilated to a two. My doctor said I had three weeks probably until the baby would come. I thought that was great news because then he would come after Christmas. I really didn't want to be in the hospital for Christmas Eve or Christmas. During that week there was only one time that I felt contractions and it didn't last very long. I wasn't sure what contractions felt like because I didn't have any with Jackson until I was in the hospital and they were more painful then what I was feeling. These felt more like cramps.  My next appointment on the 16th, I was dilated to a three. My doctor then said that I had 5-7 days until the baby might come! What?! What happened to the three weeks? I did not like hearing this news. I thought if this baby was coming then he better come by the 21st so I was home by Christmas Eve. But he didn't. On the 20th, in the night, I was up for two hours with contractions that weren't consistent and I wasn't really keeping track because I was so tired. They went away so then I was able to go back to sleep. On the 21st I was up for only 15 minutes in the night. I woke up around 4:30 a.m. on the 23rd and was having contractions again. I timed some of them, but they weren't too close together. Around 5:30 I felt like my water might have leaked some and then a few minutes later I was leaking again. I got up to go to the bathroom and it was dripping down my legs. The same thing happened with Jackson. It was a Monday morning, I woke up leaking and we headed to the hospital! At least this time I knew what was happening. I woke CJ up and said we needed to get ready to go. He called my sister Holly and she came over to stay with Jackson. CJ and I both showered and got our stuff together and got to the hospital around 7:30 a.m.

When we got to the hospital they checked me and I was at a 5 already. My water had some brown in it, the baby had pooped already. They told me when he was born that they might have to put a tube down his throat to suction him out if he had swallowed too much of the water. 

I wanted an epidural and I didn't want to wait until I was in too much pain so they called the anesthesiologist and he got there at nine, I was almost to a six by then. Then I was comfy cozy and just relaxed. They had to put me on oxygen for a while because the baby's heart beat kept going down when I would lay on my left side. 

Around 2:30 p.m. the doctor came in and watched me push and then said to come get him in about ten minutes to deliver the baby. I kept pushing while he was gone. He came back and our sweet baby was born at 2:54 p.m. He was 7 lbs. 11 oz and 19 1/2 inches long. I pushed more on this delivery then I had with Jackson, but it was still only about twenty minutes. I was really worried that since things had gone so well with Jackson's delivery that this one would be more difficult. It all went very well and smooth though. I have been truly blessed in having good deliveries. 

The nurses took the baby right after he was born and suctioned him out. Thankfully he did not have to have a tube down his throat. After they suctioned him out, I was able to hold him and do skin to skin to get him breathing regularly and to regulate his temperature. He laid so quietly on me and just slept. He didn't come out a screamer. He squealed some, but really didn't cry much at all. 

After the baby was born, we called our families. The only who knew we even went to the hospital was Holly since she was with Jackson. We didn't call anyone before because with Jackson we had a lot of people in the waiting room before he was even born and it was a bit overwhelming. This time, we wanted to be able to spend time with the baby before everyone got there. It was really nice to try nursing him and just have CJ and I there. 

We took a picture at the hospital before we had the baby. I am 38 weeks. 

When we were ready, we had Holly bring Jackson so he could be the first to see his new brother. He was so excited! He had to wait for a little bit because I was still trying to nurse when he got there, but he did great and was very anxious. We had Holly come in and record Jackson coming in to meet him. Jackson came and sat on the bed and held the baby for about three seconds then said he was done. Jackson was so sweet and gentle with him. It was priceless and I am so glad we were able to record him. 

Grandma Vincent had come up right after Jackson got there. It was a very sweet and tender moment for Grandma to meet her newest great grandson, especially since he was named after Grandpa Vincent. It is amazing to think that he was just in heaven with Heavenly Father and his Grandpa Vincent and Grandpa Johnson. I am very grateful that he was able to spend time with both of them in heaven before he came to the earth. Hopefully they were able to teach him a thing or two before he came and he will feel a closeness to them even though they are not physically here.

Quick story of how we decided on Lee James. When Papa Lee was in the care center and it was days before he would pass, CJ and I were there visiting. CJ had gone out in the hall with his Aunts and I stayed in the room with Grandma. While I was sitting there looking at this sweet man who I dearly loved, the impression came to my mind that this baby's name is Lee James. There was no arguing with the thought. I knew that is what he needed to be named. It is so great that both our boys carry on names from two wonderful men. Both of these men have had a wonderful impact on my life and I pray that when my boys grow up that they can understand how wonderful they are and be proud of the names they carry on.  

Baby Brother, as Jackson calls him, brought Jackson a gift. This made Jackson even more excited! He got two new cars and the Dinoco helicopter. He was so excited because one of the cars CJ said he was going to give him, but when he opened it Jackson said,"Dad didn't get it for me, Baby Brother did!" It was so sweet. After that, he wanted to just play with his cars. He even asked to go home so he could play. 

Holly's kids came with her so after Jackson and Grandma Vincent saw the baby, then they came in to meet their newest cousin. 

Our extremely thoughtful and good friend, Nellie, had mailed Jackson a gift for when the baby arrived. We opened it at the hospital and it was a very cute "doctor" kit. So Jackson can take care of his stuffed animals while I take care of baby. We have the greatest friends! 

CJ's family Christmas party was that evening so CJ took Jackson to Connie's house so he could be with his cousins. While they were gone, my sisters Kelly and Holly had come and stayed with me so I wasn't alone. My Mom got there shortly after to see her 26th grandchild. 

Candice, Cory and July came up after the family party. 

After the party, CJ took Jackson back to Holly's and came back to the hospital to spend the night. He went with the nurse to take pictures while the baby had his first bath. 

The next day Connie came and met her 7th grandchild. Tim and Ashli had came down for Christmas Eve at my Mom's and were so nice to stop in and see us! Our friends Ryan and Amber came and July brought the kids to meet their new cousin. They were so excited to hold him and see him.