My Sweet Daddy

February 9th was like any normal day. We got got up and had breakfast and just played the whole day. Little did I know that my life would change drastically later that day. It was a little after nine that night, CJ and I were sitting on the couch watching t.v. when my sister Holly called me. I could tell she was upset on the phone. She said that Matt and her were on their way to my house. She then proceeded to tell me that Dad had another heart attack and was gone. I was laying down and sat up quickly and said,"Please tell me you are joking." "I wish I was", was her response. I just broke down. I couldn't even talk to her or to CJ and tell him what had happened. CJ took the phone and asked what happened. Holly told him and then told him to pack me a bag so I could stay at my Mom's house that night.
I couldn't move, my body was numb and all I could do was cry. I didn't want CJ to leave me, I just needed him to hold me. After a while I thought I better pack a bag so I am ready when Holly comes. We went in to the bedroom and started packing and Holly walked in. We just held each other and then she said we needed to go because Mom needs us.  I left CJ with Jackson that night. I wanted CJ with me, but at the same time was afraid to leave Jackson with someone else even though he had no idea what had just happened.   The roads were horrible that night so it took us a long time to get to my Mom's. The whole way there, it was like a bad dream. I knew what Holly had told me was true, but I also didn't quite believe it at the same time. I wanted to see him so badly to confirm the news, but we were unable to before the coroner took him because it had been hours since my Dad had passed and he was already turning blue. That was very hard.
Once we got to the house, it was filled with family and close friends. They all held us and said how sorry they were. We all just cried, there was nothing else we could do. My Mom's Bishop was there and talked to us all and gave my Mom a blessing. We stayed up talking and telling stories of my Daddy. We laughed and cried for hours. We finally decided to go to bed around 2:00 am. I slept with my Mom that night, but neither of us fell asleep.
The next day, my brothers Tim and Dustin and sister Jodi all got to the house. CJ came out in the morning with Jackson. Jackson lifted all our spirits with his happy attitude. His ignorance was bitter sweet. I was glad he didn't quite understand everything that was going on, but then sad that he wasn't old enough to remember his Papa.
Later that day, all the siblings, spouses and my Aunt Susan and Uncle Gary went to the mortuary to see my Dad. It was hard to see him laying there. He looked so good though, I kept wishing he would just pop up and say Boo! Then tell us all it was a joke and we could all go home together. He just laid there though, stiff and cold as ice. I am glad that we were able to spend that time together with my family to see him, but it confirmed that he was really gone. Everyone left the room and I stayed behind to be alone with my Dad. I sat and talked to him and told him I missed him and how sad I was that Jackson won't remember him. I asked him to watch over us. I know he was there, I know he heard every word.
As we were driving home, I couldn't help but think that all the people in the other cars have no idea that we just went and saw our Dad who died. They are busy with their lives while ours came to a halt.
The next few days were busy planning the funeral and deciding how my Mom was going to make it financially. It was great to be able to spend that time with my family. I love them all so much. We all want to go to Heaven someday and be with our families forever, but I think we all have a bigger desire to do what is right now. We all want to be with my Dad. You don't realize the reality of it all until someone you love has passed on. My Dad is up there busy at work, but waiting for all of us to join him.
I never wanted to let down my Heavenly Father, but I really don't want to let down my Dad. I will try my hardest to do what is right and raise my children with the knowledge of the gospel so we can be an eternal family. I feel so sorry for those families who don't know that death is not the end. For either side though, when someone is lost, all you have are memories left of that person. How sad if you don't have any. Create good memories now so you can remember them forever.  Spend time with your family. At the end of the day, that is all you have and you don't know when someones time here on earth will be over.