Mothers

When we got home from the hospital on 2/9, my mom was there five minutes after we got home. My sister had called her and told her to come over and I am so glad she did. I had been fine all day long, even from the day we had Jackson I was....lets say emotionally stable. It wasn't until that night that I started bawling and I didn't know why. Was it the sudden fear of taking care of this little guy? This baby who was 100% dependent on me? I had never taken care of a baby before. I had never spent all day and all night nursing, nurturing, comforting a tiny human being before. Was I going to be able to handle all of this? My mom seeing that I was distraught, said she would stay the night with us if I wanted her too and I jumped at that opportunity and said yes! My crying ceased a while later...

There is something about having your own baby that brings to light the wonderful truth that is sometimes hidden about Mothers. My mom and I had always gotten along. We have had our differences of course. I was a smart alec growing up, disrespectful sometimes. Probably most of the time, but my mom has always been supportive and loved me for the pain that I was. I now understand why. There is a bond that comes with having a child. Not only have I bonded with my baby and will continue to do so throughout the coming years, but a new bond has started with my mom. I don't know what it was, but I had this overwhelming need to have her with me while I adjusted to motherhood. I now understand that when my mom told me no or gave advice that wasn't wanted, it was only because she wanted the best for me and it was because she cared so much about me. I understand this unconditional love that grows for your child. How you would do anything to see them happy. It kills you inside to see them upset for whatever matter. When I would cry, my mom would feel terrible that I was having such a hard time adjusting to this new routine and would tell me it was going to be okay. That I could handle this and that this is the greatest blessing in the world to have a child of God in your home.

My mom slept in the spare bedroom with Jackson in the pack n' play. When he would wake up to eat, she would bring him to me and stay up with me while I fed Jackson. She would in turn send me back to bed when I was finished, she would burp him and stay up with him until he fell back asleep. She thoroughly enjoyed those awakenings in the middle of the night. She would laugh at the faces Jackson would make and tell him how cute he was. "I just love him!" I would sit there half asleep, frustrated that he wasn't eating or he wasn't burping between sides. Not understanding how in the world she could possibly be so chipper in the middle of the night! She would go to work in the morning and come back in the afternoon. She made sure I was eating enough to provide for my little guy. She would make me breakfast every morning and make dinner every night. She would make me take naps. She would hold Jackson when he was fussy and I was getting overwhelmed. She spent three weeks with us total and I couldn't have asked for anything more. It was comforting to know that I have a mom who is there for me whenever I need her and is so willing to help.

Mothers don't get the recognition they deserve nearly enough. Mothers are patient, kind, loving, understanding and so much more. I am so grateful for my Mom who raised me the way she did and for being there to help me when I needed it the most. I love you Mom!